


Into the Light

by Rhysanoodle



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Mating Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-29 00:21:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15718086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhysanoodle/pseuds/Rhysanoodle
Summary: In which Elain has two mates, Lucien and Azriel, and has to deal with the results of feeling the bond with Az snap into place before dinner at the townhouse.Most of the work is rated 'Teen', but there are some NSFW chapters which I'll denote at the top of the chapter.





	1. Azriel

“Elain?” Azriel whispered.

No answer.

“ _Elain?_ ”

Azriel slipped further into the townhouse garden. The rest of the house had long since fallen asleep, but his shadows had felt her stir. And they led him here. 

“Az, I —”

“No. You don’t have to say it. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He leaned on the fence next to her and stared up at the starry sky.

He knew she’d felt the bond snap into place tonight at dinner. He’d sensed the invisible tether go taut as she’d stared at him with that dish in her hands. Those lovely hands _—_  so unlike his own, marred ones. He let out a sigh.

He’d taken the dish from her before she could serve it. He didn’t know how much Rhys and Feyre had told her about the intricacies of a mating bond, but he couldn’t risk her accidentally shackling herself to him and regretting it for he rest of her life. Now that she knew about the bond too, he’d have to be careful.

A tear slid down her cheek. “I’m still in love with him.”

“I know.”

“And you’re still in love with her _._ ”

He was at a loss for words. Yes, he’d been in love with Mor for five centuries, and the feelings were hard to let go of, but how could Elain not see that his feelings for her were growing out of control? That he wasn’t afraid to step out of the shadows and into her light whenever she would gift him with it.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything.” He choked on the words. Gods dammit. Why couldn’t he just tell her how he felt?

They sat there for a moment, gazing at the night sky, listening to the sounds of Velaris. 

“You looked beautiful tonight, flour and all.” That was the best he could come up with? _Stupid, stupid, stupid._  He needed to clear his head. He turned to head back into the house.

“You looked handsome as well.” She choked on a sob, still staring into the distance. 

He gently took her delicate hand and raised it to his lips. “Goodnight, Elain,”  he breathed, and then he disappeared into the shadows. 


	2. Elain

Elain woke before dawn. She’d hardly slept a wink last night, hardly slept a wink for the past few nights, if she were being honest. Not that it had anything to do with the ghost of a kiss she still felt on the back of her hand. Not at all. She was being silly. She still loved Graysen dearly, and she couldn’t just let go of all the moments they’d shared. Laughing while dancing the night away and secret rendezvous when they’d sneak down into the kitchen of her father’s estate once all the servants had gone to bed, snack on cakes, and steal kisses into the wee hours of the morning. He was her first love, the love of her life, and that was that. Even if he wanted nothing to do with her at the moment.

But Azriel — she did have to admit that she’d felt something the other night. Cauldron boil her. It was just a physical reaction to this ridiculous bond between them. That’s all. And how the hell did she have this infuriating connection to two males? Males. Not men, Fae. _Ugh._ She’d have to ask him about that later.

But now was not the time for that. Today was Feyre’s birthday, and there were lots of sweets to be made for the celebration.

She stumbled down to the kitchen in a haze to find Nuala and Cerridwen already hard at work making breakfast pastries. She slid in beside them and could swear Cerridwen shot her a knowing look before quickly asking, _“_ What would you like to start with today? _”_

 _“_ Cookies? _”_ Elain suggested. Cookies were safe. Baking would take her mind off of things. She got started mixing the dough and went to put the cookies onto baking sheets, only to decide that they really should be shaped like something cute, perhaps a snowflake, not just the normal circular ones she made all the time. She couldn’t serve boring, old cookies on a day like this.

She scoured the kitchen looking for a cookie-cutter to assist her, but all she found was a selection of heart-shaped ones. Damn Rhysand. He really couldn’t be bothered to invest in a larger variety of festive shapes?

Nevertheless, a half-hour later, she found herself smiling as she frosted adorable designs onto them, humming to herself and thinking about a large pair of depthless, hazel eyes.


	3. Azriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue and general plot of this scene belong to Sarah J. Maas. This more or less retells the Solstice party from another POV.

He scented Lucien the second he stepped into the townhouse. _Great_. Just what he needed after that awkward conversation with Elain the other night. There was no way he was going to get to really talk with her openly if Lucien were skulking around, putting her on edge. And if she was getting along with Lucien — _no_ , he couldn’t think about that right now. Even his dominant snowball fight victory wasn’t enough to lighten his mood when thoughts of Lucien were involved.

He found Elain gazing longingly out the window, most of the others all gathered in the front room already. No sign of Lucien. Excellent. Hopefully she’d chucked the ginger out on his ass. Az could only dream.

He took a deep breath and strode through the room toward her. “Happy Solstice,” he breathed. And her answering smile? It was enough to send shivers down his spine.

“I’ve never participated in one of these,” she replied, turning timidly toward him.  A wave of emotion overtook him as he fully took her in for the first time tonight, throat tightening. 

He tried and failed to promptly come up with something else to say to her, about how magnificent she looked in that soft pink dress, words catching in his throat, as Amren cut in, “They’re highly overrated.”

Well, there went the mood. He stepped aside, content to watch his friends celebrate from the sidelines, trying to calm the shadows doing their best to distract him from his situation. He wanted to be attentive right now. Rhys brought Feyre’s cake into the room. After she blew out the candles, he grabbed a slice and took a bite. It was delicious! He bit back a smile at the thought that Elain has made this delectable confection, and tried but failed not to glance in her direction. She smiled meekly back at him from the couch on the other side of the room.

Rhys made a show of bringing out all the gifts, and the females started digging into them. When Mor brought out those lacy little scraps from Cassian, Az did a double-take, choking on what he’d been saying to Rhysand. He spun around to glare at his brother, feeling ashamed all the while, as Cassian winked — winked — at him.

Before he could even form a sentence, Mor casually explained it away. He retreated into himself, embarrassed at the obvious display of the feelings he was usually so good at sealing away, hoping beyond hope that Elain hadn’t noticed. All he could hear in his head was a roaring silence, until —

She laughed. Elain had just laughed at something Rhys must’ve said, and it was the most beautiful sound he’d heard all night.

A brutal knock sounded on the front door. _Shit_. It could only be Nesta, and this night had been going so well thus far. Elain had finally started seeming carefree, bantering with the best of them. And that smile she’d had gracing her cheeks all night — it was exquisite. Az was actively fighting the urge to kiss her dimples. He’d thought maybe he’d be able to catch her alone later, have an actual conversation with her, but now things didn’t seem so bright.

Nesta made an attempt at conversation with Amren, and he could feel the tension in the room dissipate a bit, his shadows relaxing around his shoulders. He didn’t fail to notice, however, that Elain knocked back a shot of Rhys’ finest whiskey. She never drank. Even when Mor had spent made many attempts last night trying to ply her with wine, she’d still refused. Great.

Rhys tried to turn the conversation away from the sisters, so Az went back to socializing and opening presents, still periodically glancing back over at her to make sure she was okay.

As he opened some gaudy, bright blue towels from Mor, Az noticed Feyre trying not to laugh, and it took all his composure to simply smile at Mor, blushing in the process.

He opened the rest of his presents, giving some out to the Inner Circle in turn. He watched glumly as he realized Lucien had left a present for Elain, some enchanted gardening gloves. Az wished he hadn’t seen that.

Finally, there was only one box left. “Az, this one’s for you,” Mor interjected from over near the table.

Really? He’d already gotten presents from everyone — everyone except Nesta and Elain. His brows lifted, heart pounding in his chest. “Oh, that’s from me.” Elain turned toward him from her perch at the kitchen table, and he schooled his face, trying to keep it as neutral as possible as he slowly tore the wrapping off.

“I had Madja make it for me.” Elain must’ve beheld the confusion on his face as he stared at the vial. “It’s a powder to mix in with any drink.” She bit her lip as she began to smile at him. Cauldron, did she know what that did to him? “It’s for the headaches everyone always gives you. Since you rub your temples so often.”

He couldn’t contain himself anymore. He erupted with laughter. It was absolutely perfect. He had no idea she’d been watching him so closely as well, had been paying attention to his moods. And to be able to crack a joke like that in front of all their friends and family who did indeed get on his nerves at times? Brilliant.

“Thank you.” He managed to get the words out finally. “This will be invaluable.”

Tonight was looking up for Azriel after all, with this resplendent female by his side. He couldn’t have asked for anything more for Solstice.


	4. Elain

Elain and Azriel remained on the couch, casually going over her plans to reinvigorate the townhouse garden and pointedly trying to ignore the fact that Cassian and Nesta storming out of the house an hour ago had thickened the tension in the room. She’d been waiting to have a chance to talk to Az all night, the hours creeping by as they celebrated with their family. 

Cassian returned, slamming the door, downing a glass, and practically sprinting up the stairs. Elain watched Mor follow him up. Well now there were two less people between her and Az, and all the pressing questions she had.

Feyre and Rhys murmured to themselves before quickly winnowing away, likely to get some alone time. Elain swallowed dryly, her throat bobbing. This was it. It was just them left.

Before she could change her mind, she grabbed his hand and led him to her bedroom. Better to have some privacy lest anyone wake up and decide to come down for a midnight snack.

As soon as she shut the door, he pulled something out of his tunic. It was meticulously wrapped in light pink paper with a purple bow. Strange. She wasn’t expecting something so dainty to come from him, although when she didn’t receive anything from him downstairs, she assumed it meant she wasn’t getting anything at all.

“I made it for you.” He fumbled over the words, awkwardly thrusting the parcel in her direction.

Carefully, she took the present, not failing to notice the spark of electricity that shot down her hand as is grazed his, his shadows parting in its wake. 

Ever so slowly, she unwrapped it and brought a hand to her mouth.

It was a handwritten book of recipes.

“Nuala and Cerridwen have told me how much you enjoy baking, and I wanted to give you some of my own favorite recipes. I got them from my mother.”

Elain was speechless for a minute. “It’s beautiful,” she finally murmured, and indeed it was. She could tell how much attention and detail had gone into the construction and binding of this book. It was covered in a delicate, deep-blue leather binding, everything within written in his neat, concise script.

“The blackberry tarts are my favorite,” Az admitted to her, his voice suddenly much nearer. She jumped. She hadn’t noticed that he’d crept toward her to watch as she inspected her gift. Indeed, he was now less than a foot away, and she could feel the heat radiating off him. Too close. This was much too close for comfort right now. Especially when there was still so much she needed to know, to process.

He instantly took a step back, seeming to sense her shift in mood.

He strolled over and took a seat on the bed, patting the space beside him. “Come. Sit. It seems there are some things we need to discuss.” She hesitated. This was the moment she’d been waiting for, yet it suddenly seemed overwhelming, and she didn’t know where to begin, what to ask first.

Az gave a shy, crooked grin, and held out a mottled hand to her. “I promise I won’t bite. I’ll be on my best behavior.” Elain started moving before she could change her mind, took his hand, and sank down beside him.

She let him take her hand gently in both of his before daring to meet his gaze.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Elain.”


	5. Azriel

“How long have you known?” Elain asked timidly. This was the question he was least looking forward to. Taking a deep breath, staring at his feet, he managed to say, “Since the first time I saw you after we returned from Hybern. When Rhys sent me up to the House to check on you and Nesta. I think had I been fully conscious that day, it would’ve snapped into place the second you emerged from the Cauldron. Just like… _him_.” He swallowed and glanced up at her face. It was soft, contemplative. A whole lot better than he’d imagined it when he’d practiced this conversation in his head.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Azriel cringed, shadows flaring up around him as if to form a protective barrier around him. He shooed then away with a thought. “I saw how you were still in love with Graysen, how sad you were not only about the transformation, but also the loss of everything you had in your mortal life. I couldn’t add to that burden.” Now for the tricky part. 

“And besides, Lucien had already claimed he was your mate that day in Hybern. I knew it was only a matter of time before he managed to show up and I couldn’t make myself get in the middle of that. Things could have gotten rather messy. We didn’t even know each other. You never would’ve chosen to be with me.” Az took a deep, steadying breath. “So I decided to get to know you the only way I knew how. I’d check in on you in the House of Wind, always playing the role of dutiful spymaster and friend, not that you really seemed to notice my existence. As soon as you started leaving the House, I’d sit with you in the garden.” She gave his hand a slight squeeze, a reassurance that she too remembered those relaxing days spent in the sun.

“At first, I was just satisfied by being near you, listening to the sounds of you toiling in the flowerbeds. I pretended I was just there to sun my wings. I could see how passionate you were, and it think it brought out the best in me too. I noticed that during those bright, sunny days with you, surrounded by colorful flowers, my shadows were kept more at bay when they weren’t being useful. Then, I started to take an interest in gardening. Sometimes I’d read books in the House of Wind library all day looking for some clever tip you may not have heard of just the see the look of joy on your face as you considered the possibilities.” He couldn’t help the slight upturn that teased at the corner of his mouth. It was a constant anytime he thought about her nowadays. His incredible mate _—_ well not yet, but maybe, oneday.

“And then you started opening up to me. You’d want me to be the one to fly you between the two houses. You’d look over and tell me a joke as you worked. You’d sneak me a pastry you came up with. You’d confide in me and share your visions with me occasionally. And then you were captured by the Cauldron. Feyre told me about the dream you’d had. That Graysen was calling out to you. Regardless, I knew I had to go save you, even if it meant wrecking myself in the process. You were worth it, even if I knew you were still unequivocally in love with him. I was going out of my mind thinking about you being trapped by that demon king.” He shuddered at the memory, trying to push it out of his mind.

“And then the final battle happened. Rhys had ordered me not to fight, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to give you the best chance at surviving, of winning, that I possibly could. So I gave you Truth-Teller. I knew it would always strike true and do its best to protect you.”

“I think in my own, useless way, I was trying to tell you how I felt too, trying to tell you the truth. So that if we didn’t come back from the battle, you’d have an inkling of the feelings that I was developing for you,” he whispered this last part, cheeks flushing as he remembered baring himself to her, as he was doing now.

“But then we survived somehow, and you gave it right back. So I stayed in the shadows. Always looking out for you, but never directly in your line of sight. You had enough going on with your family. I’ve thought about telling you before now, but you still look at _him_ with such disgust. I think I was just scared you’d outright reject me too.” His hands dropped hers, as if his body was mirroring his inner feelings. Surely she wouldn’t reciprocate his affections.

“Is that really what you think?”

“Can you blame me?”

Elain didn’t meet his eyes.

“How is this situation even possible? How can I have two mates?” This was the most baffling part of their predicament, but he’d been researching it ever since he’d discovered the bond.

“I’ll admit it’s rare, but not unheard of. You’re incredibly special. You were made by the Cauldron. I’m not sure how it decides who to favor, but it graced you with gifts. It made you a seer and recognized two males who were your equals, who _it_ thought could fulfill you as a partner. It gave you the gift of choice in that sense as well. Not that you are by any means obligated to select either of us, but it gave you a potential connection unlike any other with two males. I’ve never seen this kind of favor granted in my five centuries, although I’ve heard of it in legends.”

He turned toward her and took her hand again, cursing himself for breaking the contact earlier. She didn’t pull away.

“I just want you to know that I don’t expect anything of you. Anything to come of this. If you’ll give me the chance, I’d love to court you properly one day, but I think we both have enough to work through for the time-being.”

She nodded meekly. Not really giving him much of a sense of how she was processing this information.

“If it’s alright with you, I’m going to head back to my room before Cassian notices I’m missing. Goodnight, Elain. And happy Solstice.”

He made for the door.

“Wait.”

Shocked, he turned around. She hadn’t stopped him the other night. What was so different now?

“I think I’d like that.”

“Are you sure?” He inched toward her.

“The last year has been difficult for me, yes, but I think I’d like to try again. Start over. I’ve had butterflies in my stomach for the past few days just thinking about that kiss on my hand the other night, and I’d very much like to feel that again.”

“Oh would you now?” He swiftly closed the distance between them. He could feel her breath hot against his skin as he lowered his face to hers. Gods. She had no idea the effect she had on him. He’d been waiting for this moment for months. Slowly, carefully, as if he had all the time in the world, he kissed her. His blood thrumming, it took more restraint than he was willing to admit to limit himself to just this. 

She kissed him back for a moment before pulling away, flustered. “But maybe we just keep it between us for now? Until we know if this will work? If we will work?” Her voice came out an octave higher than normal. How adorable.

The Shadowsinger chuckled. “Well, you know how much I love keeping secrets. Consider this our little secret.” With a bow, he vanished into the shadows.

Az rematerialized in the bathing room on the floor below, grateful he’d had the strength to walk away before he lost his restraint and pushed her further past her boundaries tonight, and took a very, very cold bath.


	6. Elain

Shit. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that. He’d disappeared so quickly after she’d suggested they hide their relationship.

Elain lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. She thought maybe he’d left so abruptly to return to the room he was sharing with Cassian to avoid suspicions as he mentioned, but she’d heard quiet footsteps creeping up the stairs about fifteen minutes after-the-fact. It was almost as if he wanted her to be aware of them. She knew he could silently travel through the shadows.

Her mind kept going in circles. When she was with Az, everything seemed perfect, like she finally fit in in this new, strange world. But when she wasn’t, it was still hard to banish her feelings for Graysen. With a sigh, she rolled over. Best to try to sleep and figure out her feelings another time. At least they were just dating – and secretly at that. If things didn’t work out, they could always go back to the way things used to be, right?

* * *

Elain had to admit that dating a spymaster had its perks. Three days after that fateful conversation, she heard a knock on the townhouse door while she was about to practice making the scones that Nuala and Cerridwen were so famous for. When she answered, she was greeted with a lovely bouquet of begonias, a tentative peck on the cheek, and the knowledge that Rhys and Cassian were in Illyria for the day, Mor was in the Winter Court, and Feyre was busy designing her new studio and wouldn’t be home anytime soon.

“We’ve got the house to ourselves, midear. What shall we get up to today?” He flashed her a roguish grin. She had to admit that this newfound confidence of his when he was around her was rather endearing. They’d spent plenty of time together in the months she’d been living in the Night Court, but he’d always seemed tentative, reserved. Had he really just been hiding this side of him for so long, waiting for her to accept him? Now that she thought about it, he had been cracking more jokes with his brothers recently when she was around. She’d even seen him laugh on Solstice. She still couldn’t banish that thought from her head and found a goofy grin plastering her face now.

Taking his hand in her own, she dragged him into the kitchen.

Azriel looked dumbfounded when she handed him the frilly, pink apron. “You’ll be needing this,” she said sweetly, a devious smile sneaking past her lips.

“I don’t think a uniform is required to make me an amazing chef.”

“But we wouldn’t want you to get flour all over your handsome, black leathers! It would truly be a shame,” Elain teased, and before he could muster a response, she slipped it over his head.

He grimaced, but smiled at her sweetly. “Would you do me the honors?” He turned his back toward her, gesturing that she also tie the strings in back. She stepped toward him, taking a moment to fully take in the view. Illyrian leathers left little to the imagination. Mouth agape, she stared perhaps a little too long at his backside, his muscular thighs. “Any day now, Elain,” he smirked, and she quickly went about tying the knot. A bit too tightly perhaps, but she didn’t want him to be able to escape it too easily.

“Now, where do we begin?”

Elain went about her work, pointing out various ingredients to gather, when to add them, which utensils to use to mix them. Finally, they had kneaded a decent-looking dough, rolled it out, sectioned it, and placed it in the oven.

“What do we do now?”

“Well, these need to bake for 15 minutes, and I hadn’t really gathered ingredients for anything else this morning, so now we wait?” she flashed him a sheepish smile.

“That I can do.” He prowled closer to her. Elain suddenly became very, very aware of the fact that she had flour all over herself. It fully covered her hands, and she was pretty sure she had some on her face from repeatedly brushing her hair out of her eyes. She made for the washing basin to clean up, cheeks flushing.

A rough hand gripped her wrist. “Let me.” He tentatively kissed her hand, reminding her of that first night. He waited a moment, in case she wanted to pull away. She rationally knew she probably should, but this close to him, breathing in his mist-and-cedar scent, she was frozen, pure desire overtaking her. “You’re delicious,” he purred. Elain let out a sharp gasp. With a sense of urgency, he moved to her smallest finger, taking it in his mouth and sucking it clean. “Absolutely magnificent.” He made short work of the rest of her hand before roving his eyes over her face.

He kissed the tip of her flour-coated nose, tongue flicking over the soiled spot. “This won’t do,” he murmured. His lips explored her face, slowly making their way to her neck, where – oh gods. Elain let out a small moan, tilting her head to give him better access. This. This is what she’d been craving for days now. This was the reason she had a feeling she still wouldn’t be sleeping well anytime soon. 

She lost track of time, but eventually she got sick of only her neck getting such attention. That simply wouldn’t do. She nuzzled him, getting him to look up at the distraction before combing both hands through his hair and dragging his mouth up to hers. They collided, and she could swear she could feel his shadows swirling around them, whispering in her ears, as their tongues frantically clashed in a kiss that swept her off her feet. Literally, Elain realized, as he lifted her onto the counter. She opened for him, allowing him to begin lazily exploring her mouth as she fumbled with the knot on the back of his apron. Curses. She’d done her job a little too well earlier. She was finally starting to make some progress, desperate to get closer to him, when a loud chiming filled her ears.

She jerked back, suddenly remembering the timer she’d set for the scones earlier. Flushed, she quickly ran for the oven, desperate for a little space to figure out what had just happened. Taking a few steadying breaths, she pulled out their perfectly golden-brown treats and turned back towards Az.

She burst out laughing. In the frenzy earlier, she’d forgotten to wash her remaining hand and the one he’d licked “clean” was still anything but. Streaks of flour and clumps of dough plastered his hair back. He flashed her a cocky grin. “I may need some cleaning of my own now.” She blushed, unsure how to respond.

Sensing her uncertainty, he grabbed a plate, and started scooping hot scones onto it. Taking her hand in his, with a quick peck on her temple, he gestured toward the dining room. “I’m dying to taste these after all the anticipation.”


	7. Azriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

It had been a few weeks since he’d properly began courting Elain. They’d gone on dates anytime Az could ensure that the Inner Circle would be too busy looking elsewhere. He’d even gotten in the habit of conveniently assigning Nuala and Cerridwen other tasks anytime he was planning on seeing Elain, just to be on the safe side. **  
**

Azriel was getting restless. Whenever he wasn’t on spying missions for Rhys, he was daydreaming about Elain. Was there any chance she was feeling the same? They’d done plenty of kissing, but it was always hurried, as if she was scared of getting caught. No, that wouldn’t do. He was ready to take the next step in their relationship and intended to create an atmosphere where at least if she turned him down, he could be sure it wasn’t just circumstantial.

The House of Wind was the perfect place.

Nobody stayed there anymore except Az, when he wasn’t off on a spying mission. Rhys and Feyre hardly bothered to show up unless they were holding Court. If he timed it right, they could have days to themselves — in addition to the hour or two he intended simply for her pleasure.

Now he just had to set a date. He sent her a shadow message, a right he usually reserved for his spies and Lord and Lady. In it he included a date, time, and inconspicuous place to meet so he could fly her up there — the gardens.

Two days later, he was pacing the House hallway, simply waiting until it wouldn’t be awkwardly early to call on Elain. Rhys has sent him to the human realms to collect information from Jurian, but Az had arrived back in the Night Court hours sooner than anticipated. Maybe it had something to do with trying to disappear before Lucien returned to the manor, but he wouldn’t admit that to anyone.

He’d already bathed, spent quite a while trying to pick his out a handsome set of leathers, and double-checked the place settings for dinner twice-over. It was time. Before he could stop himself, he slipped into the shadows, and stepped out into the townhouse garden.

He had to admit, the scenery was lovely. Even with the knowledge that Rhys and Feyre were building a new estate, with a brand new garden, Elain still managed to keep this one in excellent condition. She wasn’t outside yet.

He raised his hand to knock on the door, but it opened before he could muster the courage. “Couldn’t wait either?” Elain’s lilting voice teased. 

She looked radiant, in a gown of pale blue, her loosely-curled hair falling around her shoulders. Azriel stood frozen, drinking her in. She rose on her toes to kiss him on the cheek, and he lost his composure. He scooped Elain into his arms, and shot into the sky, kissing her freckles as they flew. With his cobalt shield around them, blocking out the harsh winter chill, it was a rather pleasant night for flying. He may have taken a rather slower route to the House just to watch the wonder on her face as she gazed down upon the lights of Velaris a little longer. That and he relished any chance she gave him to be this close to her. To feel their bodies flush against each other. 

He snapped out of his daydream to find her staring at him. “Something on your mind?” 

“You,” he breathed. “Always you.” Swallowing his nerves, hands shaking slightly, he quickly added, “I love having you pressed up against me like this.” Az placed a hesitant kiss on her temple before continuing. “I dream of having you pressed up against me in other ways.” Letting out a sigh, he scanned her face, desperate to find a hint of acceptance in her warm, chocolaty eyes.

This was the boldest thought he’d ever said aloud to her. He’d been psyching himself up all this week spent away from her. They were almost at the House now. He contemplated circling for a minute — the silence between them at the moment was excruciating.

“Like this?” Elain turned to fully face him, one hand sliding out from around his neck, leaving a trail of goose flesh in its wake, and achingly slowly made its way down his front until — _shit_. He dove for the balcony, as he sensed her true intentions, not trusting himself to keep them aloft much longer if Elain went just a fraction of an inch lower and discovered his length already at attention, desperate for the contact. 

They landed with a jolt, and he immediately spirited them along the shadows to his bedroom, barely making it before collapsing into a breathless heap on the bed. Utterly unhinged — she completely made him lose any semblance of control. 

Hastily, he flipped her underneath him, so he hovered above her, wings flaring slightly. “Not yet, my dove.” He summoned shadows, pinning her arms above her head. “If you touch me like that, this will be over before it really begins, and I believe we ought to have some fun first. Don’t you agree?”

She pouted, but he noticed the sparkle dancing in her eyes as she stared him down. Oh, she was the perfect partner for this particular game. “Close your eyes,” he commanded. Once he was sure she wasn’t peeking, he latched on to tendrils of shadow, instructing each to tease different parts of her, as his lips grazed her neck. “I’ve spent a very long time imagining the first time we were ready for this, and I’m not letting any of it go to waste.” He lifted her torso so he could tear at the ties of her bodice, all the while keeping her arms restrained, forcing her to let him do the work. Delicately, he slipped the gown over her shoulders, down until it pooled beneath them. He casually sliced through her lacy underthings, causing them to fall away after the gown. Az took a moment to drink her in, eyes roving hungrily over her immaculate form. Gods. She was gorgeous from head to toe, this woman he was blessed to have as his mate. He quickly devoid himself of his leathers as well. Returning his attention to her neck, he sent shadows to lightly caress her nipples, to gently graze her thighs.

Elain let out a deep, guttural moan. The sound was his unleashing. He softly cupped a breast in his hand, flicking the nipple with his tongue, relishing in the breathy noises it elicited from Elain. 

Ever so tenderly, he kissed a trail down her stomach. As he approached his destination, he paused his progress, lazily taunting her with his tongue flicking on her thighs.

“Azriel.”

“Yes, dove?”

“Don’t stop.”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please. Please, Az. _Please_.”

He growled in approval before taking her fully in his mouth. The taste of her undid any semblance of self control he had remaining. His tongue flirted and danced, not giving her a moment of respite as he teased her clit mercilessly. Through their heightened bond, he could feel when she was getting close, but Azriel would have none of that. At least not before he’d gotten to play more.

He reinvigorated the shadows caressing her, having them stroke her peaked nipples as he thrust two fingers inside her. Wet. She was drenched, and, gods, did she feel amazing. Leisurely, he plunged in and out, gradually speeding up until he took her back in his mouth, parting her lips and furiously coaxing her onward until her breathing hitched. Elain arched her back, fighting her restraints, desperately trying to claw at his hair as she went over the edge, moaning his name. Az slowed his tongue to a light caress. Panting, he grinned up at her, relishing in her release, intoxicated by her taste. He stalked over her, feverishly stealing kisses before her body could unwind.

Freed of her bonds, she slid her hands down his chiseled torso, hurriedly making a grab for him. She got right to the point. This was a first in their relationship — he was loving this new, uninhibited side of her. As he adjusted to give her greater access, he gently grabbed her hair in his hands, freeing hers so she could easily continue kissing her way south, and _fuck_. He jerked at the contact as she slid his head into her mouth. She felt divine. 

Elain cautiously began moving on him, occasionally swirling her tongue and licking along his length. His body was on fire. After a few minutes, she began sucking harder as she slid his shaft further into his mouth, attempting to take him to the hilt. At the feeling of his head against the back of her throat, it took an embarrassingly short time before his pleasure rippled through him as well. He released himself inside of her, body tensing, and she continued taking the length of him until he was drained.

As she surfaced, she giggled, “Wow. That was fun. I’ve never done that before,” her lips still wet with saliva.

Relief coursed through him. He’d never mustered the courage to ask her about her past history, it being a sensitive topic. He still wasn’t fully certain how much her feelings for Graysen had waned.

He cuddled up next to her. “I’m glad I was your first. I want to be all of your firsts, if you’ll let me.”

She snuggled into his chest. “I love you, Az.” It was so faint he almost thought he’d imagined it. 

After all these years, he’d begun to doubt that anyone could ever truly love him. Perhaps that was the curse of having a centuries-old unrequited crush. Fighting back tears, he murmured, “I love you too, Elain. More than you’ll ever know.”

They spent an hour nuzzled against each other, whispering secrets about their childhoods, their lives before each other. When Elain couldn’t ignore her grumbling stomach any longer, he brought her a platter in bed which they devoured before continuing their canoodling.

He told her about his mother, the years he tried to forget in his father’s keep, how he met his brothers, and the life-altering events that led him to where he was now. She shared what it was like growing up in the human realm, losing their wealth, and then how strange it had been to earn it all back.

As the time passed by, and they found themselves in the wee hours of the morning, he cradled a yawning Elain to his chest, nuzzling into her hair. He wrapped his wings around the two of them, drifting off to sleep, and slept peacefully, the shadows kept at bay all through the night.


	8. Elain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

In the weeks since that fateful night, Elain and Azriel had stolen as much time together as they could. Elain had cherished the moments where they’d just been free to talk all day. She had always known that the Shadowsinger was rather reserved, but he’d been opening up to her more about his past life these five centuries. They’d even discussed the topic of Mor, as awkward as that was for both involved. He’d admitted that he’d fallen hard for her at seventeen and thought she was the one, her light helping to alleviate his shadows. Az had even choked up a bit as he pondered whether or not he was just flocking to the traits that would first endear him to his future mate without realizing it. Perhaps that’s why he hadn’t been able to let go of her for centuries, even though Mor had obviously done her best not to give him any real hope. He’d never once truly experienced hope until Elain, when her light had begun not to just shine on him but invite him into it.  


As wonderful as he was at helping to keep their relationship a secret, she was growing tired of hiding it. She began to feel guilty when she’d tell Feyre she’d been out shopping for the new riverfront estate or running errands to pick up ingredients whenever she’d be caught upon returning to the townhouse.

Not that Feyre and Rhys noticed much. The two seemed so busy with the art studio, the new estate, and their formal duties that they were hardly around the townhouse nowadays, and when they were, they usually chose to spend most of their time alone anyway. She’d even spent the night at the House of Wind a handful of times when she’d been assured that Feyre and Rhys were definitely staying in the cabin or Illyria, or when it was just well-known that they’d been so deprived of each other lately that they couldn’t be bothered to notice a missing sister in the middle of the night.

Technically speaking, she and Az hadn’t lied about their task today. She did need a little extra muscle to help her pick up her new gardening tools, and they did have a massive delivery coming in at the estate. They may have just eagerly volunteered to handle it by themselves to give them some much-needed extra alone time.

She smiled to herself. He had no idea how much they needed that time tonight. She’d been careful to hide her movement this past week, even from the half-wraiths. She had a feeling Az had ordered them specifically not to spy on her, to report back to either him or Rhys about her movements, her day-to-day life, since they’d officially gotten together. Perhaps even longer than that.

She packed up her satchel with money and some supplies need for their efforts today. Grabbing a large slice of quiche from the spread Nuala had set out this morning and a mug of tea, she took a seat next to Feyre at the breakfast table.

“Big plans today?” Elain inquired sleepily, sipping the blessed energy-providing beverage.

“Actually, for the first time in a long time, we’ve both got the day off,” her sister grinned. “Ressina is handling today’s classes, I won’t make much more progress on the estate until our paint shipment comes in next week, and our other official duties have given us a light reprieve, at least for the time-being.”

“That sounds lovely,” Elain beamed.

“If I have anything to say about it, I’ll be in my night clothes all day.” The blush that crept up Feyre’s face as she slipped into her head — well likely Rhys’ head — for a split second though made Elain highly doubt that’d last very long.

She’d often wondered if her own mating bond would be like that. If they could have silent conversations, feel each other from rooms away. Her only experiences feeling the bond had been that one time she’d let Lucien in at Feyre’s request and the split second she’d felt it lock into place with Azriel months ago. He hadn’t brought it up, and so Elain had decided to leave the subject off the table. She hadn’t been sure how she felt about sharing that tether with someone before she was fully mated and hadn’t even known whether she wanted to accept the bond with either male.

A knock on the door interrupted her private musings. _Finally_. Elain got up slowly to answer the door, trying not to appear over-eager.

As she opened the door, she was once again struck by how handsome he was. He’d chosen one of her favorite sets of leathers to wear today, despite the fact that they were supposed to be doing dirty-work. “Good morning Elain, Feyre.”

“Good morning,” Elain parroted, a grin spreading across her face.

Feyre popped her head into the hallway. “Good morning, Az. You two have fun today. I can’t wait to see how the garden is coming along!” Feyre replied. “Since I haven’t had much cause to be there this week, I’m starting to miss out on the progress. Hmm. Do you two need help today?”

“No!” both Elain and Az blurted perhaps a bit too quickly.

“Relax, and enjoy your day off for once. You don’t need to do everything around here. Trust us to help you out,” Elain added hurriedly before turning towards the door. “Ready?”

“After you,” Az gestured, letting her lead the way into Velaris.

* * *

They spent an hour or two wandering around the city, picking up her new tools and grabbing a bite to eat at a cafe on the Sidra before heading over to the estate where they intercepted the delivery of an enormous load of fertilizer and some starter plants Elain had ordered to begin her landscaping. Between the two of them, they managed to make decent progress on the gardening that would adorn the front of the mansion, deeming it most important to give it a fresh face before focusing on her larger garden that would eventually make up a majority of the backyard.

Late in the afternoon, as the sun was beginning its descent, Az noticed her stomach grumbling and declared that it was definitely time for a break. He flew them back to the House of Wind to clean up. 

She was really learning to love the flying. At first, it had made her stomach drop, and she had trouble keeping her eyes open, but lately, he’d taken her flying with such frequency that she found herself longing to feel the soft breeze against her face, to take in the sights of Velaris below them during days when they were apart. To silently crave the strange sort of closeness she felt with him, flush against his body, only the two of them, cut off from the rest of the world.

As they were landing on the balcony, Elain realized she couldn’t wait any longer. Without giving him a moment to pause and catch his breath, she grabbed Az’s hand and pulled him into the dining room. “I wouldn’t have taken my sweet time flying here if I knew you were so ravenous, dear,” he joked — still apparently believing she was just starving for a meal.

Before he could pull out her chair for her, she rushed to the table and pulled out one for him.

“Sit.” It caught him off guard, and he eyed her warily as he took his seat.

“What’s with all the fuss? We have supper here all the time nowadays.”

Elain cleared her throat. It was now or never. 

“I have something I’d like to tell you,” she squeaked, barely recognizing her own voice in her nervousness. “I’m in love with you, Azriel. I’ve been falling more and more in love with you everyday for the past few months.” 

He looked confused. They’d been dating for months, and she’d told him that she loved him many times now. He still didn’t seem to get where she was going with this, he probably didn’t dare to hope it was true.

“I know our relationship began on uneven ground. I know I’ve still been holding back. That I’m distant sometimes. That even though I’ve told you I love before, I’ve never told you how much.” A small tear seemed to be welling in his eyes. 

“You’re the only one for me now. I’ve been fighting my feelings for too damn long now. I let my former love for Graysen blind me for months, but I can honestly say that there’s nobody as worthy of spending the rest of my life with as you. You’re worth it. More than worth it. When I’m with you, the rest of the world fades away.” Her own watery eyes were betraying her as she struggled to get the last bit out.

“It’s no secret that I had a hard time adjusting to my life here. I felt like I was always in the dark, desperate to find the light and joy I’d had in my past life. I no longer feel like I need to hide from the shadows. When you’re walking side-by-side with me, I can embrace them. You’ve helped me embrace every part of myself, the good and the bad, and there’s nobody else I’d rather spend my immortality with.”

Az’s mouth was still gaping in shock, the tears now cascading down his face. She moved to sit in his lap, satchel still in tow. She kissed him on the temple before deftly reaching into her bag and removing a small paper-wrapped parcel. “That is, if you’ll have me?”

Gently he took the package from her, unwrapping it to reveal a homemade blackberry tart inside.

“Your favorite,” she grinned. She had decided she was ready to take this step earlier in the week and had been using every ounce of her spare time practicing this recipe, drilling herself until the end result was utter perfection. She’d been on-the-edge of her seat all day, waiting for the opportunity to surprise him with this.

“Thank you.” The words were so soft, even her Fae senses barely picked them up. “I love you too, Elain. So much. I would be honored to devote every fiber of my being, everything I am, to you for the rest of my days. You’ve brought me a peace and happiness I’ve been missing in my life for centuries. I’ve been blindly walking through my life unfulfilled, hoping but never truly believing I’d find my other half.” He kissed her. “I would love nothing more than to be able to call you mine for the rest of my days.”

“Eat up, then.” Elain couldn’t stop beaming.

Az tenderly brought the tart to his lips, savoring the moment. He took a bite, and something inside him turned feral at the action. He feverishly stuffed the rest of the small treat in his mouth, now desperate to finish his mating gift as soon as possible.

The gleam in his eyes as they locked with Elain’s and the bond clicking into place undid her. Turning to straddle him, her lips crashed against his in a frenzy. More. _More, more, more_. She needed all of him. Chuckling to herself, she realized that the thought which had scared her months ago was the only thing that mattered to her now. For the first time in over a year, she was whole again. It’d been a difficult journey, but her mate had coaxed her out of her depression, back into the light.

She clawed at his back, reaching for the buttons which held his leathers in place around his wings. She felt his breath hitch, his body tensing, as she grazed the base of a wing in the process. Interesting, they felt so soft and leathery. She paused to find the source of his bodily reaction to find him panting heavily. “Not yet, dear,” he managed to get out. “Those are extremely _sensitive_ , and I’d prefer to last a little longer than this.” He turn his attention to feverishly licking up the column of her neck, unable to keep himself away from her either.

 _Oh_. Nobody had ever told her that particular tidbit. She filed it away for later tonight. Hopefully she could tease him with it after they’d had some fun. First thing first though, she ached to feel him inside of her. “I need you,” she moaned as he sucked the tender spot at the base of her throat. “All of you. _Please_.” He worked his way back up toward her ear, taking the lobe gently between his teeth. Bastard. Az knew what he was doing to her. Could surely hear her heart beating frantically, scent the wetness between her thighs as he taunted her.

“Hold on tight.” He paused his relentless assault only long enough to slip them both through the shadows into the bathing chamber. Steam was already rising from the tub, inviting them in. She pawed at his buttons in earnest this time, making sure to avoid the wings for now. Slipping his leathers over his head, she took in his tattooed chest — the markings she knew he sometimes resented were beautiful nonetheless. She dropped kisses on his chest, tracing the designs she loved so dearly, allowing him access to the ties at the back of her dress. He deftly undid them, giving her a moment to step out of the gown pooling at her feet. Her lips met his once again as her hands trailed down to his waistband. She fumbled with the button for a moment before finding the catch and letting them drop to the floor, along with his undergarments. She felt his impatience flicker as he couldn’t be bothered to remove her own undergarments and let his shadow tendrils do the work, sweeping her into his arms, mouth never leaving hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her up against the wall. He still hadn’t entered her yet. He was taking his damn time, much to her chagrin, as she impatiently grinded against him, the sheer contact not satisfying her intense desire.

He cupped her breast firmly in one hand, heavily massaging it, eliciting a moan from deep inside her — still writhing her hips desperately, digging her nails into his shoulders. “I’ve waited for this moment for what seems like years. I have no intention of rushing anything, dove,” he whispered in her ear. 

“I need you inside me,” she whined. In protest, she removed a hand from his neck, and dragged it lazily down starting at the apex of his wing. She didn’t try to hide the wicked grin on her face as his head jerked back, and he stared at her, aghast.

He quickly schooled his expression, and pulled them away from the wall, stepping into the tub. “If that’s how you want it, love,” he growled. Her submerged them both in the water, wings spread behind him, and flipped her around so her backside was flush with him. She blushed at the feeling of the evidence of his pleasure pressed into her. He grabbed a breast in one hand, her other slipping two fingers inside her. “Is this what you wanted?” he purred, fingers thrusting ever so slowly in and out, tauntingly, before returning his attention to her neck. Despite the step in the right direction, it still wasn’t enough for Elain. She ground her hips against his hand, frantically trying to increase the rhythm, just as his thumb slid to her clit. Mother above. He circled it lazily, timing it with his strokes. Release found home as he increased the tempo, finally matching her strides. She let out a series of small sighs, back arching, electricity coursing through her, before going limp against him as he gradually retreated.

“Have I told you how sexy that noise is?” Az growled as he flipped her back around to face him. Indeed, the evidence of how much he enjoyed pleasuring her was plain to see. He breathlessly kissed her and leaned back on the corner of the bench, slowly guiding her onto him, knowing it was her first time.

Gods, he was enormous. She’d been imagining this moment for weeks, never letting it get this far as they fooled around, but her daydreams couldn’t do it justice. She gritted through the pain as he assisted her with mounting him. “Take all the time you need,” Az murmured, pressingly kisses to her temple and rubbing soothing strokes down her spine to help her relax. 

Finally, when she had taken in all of him, he grinned and restarted his affections. Breathing hard, lips pressed to hers, he began to writhe beneath her, guiding her into a motion, making small thrusts into her. Helping her loosen up. As she adjusted to the feeling, she began to ride him, cautiously moving up and down in time with his rhythm. _Shit_. She hadn’t been fully prepared for the sensation, fingers being nothing in comparison to this. The ache was welcome as he filled her completely, sliding in and out. Her fingers dragged through his hair, breath hitching as she moved on him, repeatedly massaging that sensitive spot in her core. She was going to shatter. _Almost there_. She took her hands and brushed her fingertips sensuously down the center of both wings as she thrust down one final time, and they both found their release together.

They sat together, out of breath, for a minute before he gently slipped her off him. “You’re mine,” she whispered. “For the rest of our lives. I’ll never get enough of this. Of you.” He held her tightly to his chest.

“I love you, El. I can’t tell you how much this means to me, how long I’ve dreamed of it. I’ll do my best to be worthy of you for as long as we both shall live.” A pause. “What say you we clean up a little?” He gave a coy grin.

* * *

An hour later, they’d successfully extricated themselves from the tub, reluctantly found something to eat, and were now cuddling in his bed. To combat the slight chill, she had donned a black tunic of his which smelled heavenly, but they were still mostly unclothed. There had a been a few _distractions_ between now and then, and the temptation to take him for a third time was looming over Elain. She had the sense that Az was fighting it as well, as he gazed longingly into her eyes. After a long while of silence, he pulled a small box out of nightstand and opened it. “Elain, dear, would you do me the honor of also becoming my wife?” _Holy shit_. She was awestruck as she stared at the delicate rose-gold band. The stone in the center was an opal, with diamonds studded around it, almost looking like an iridescent flower. It was exactly what she would’ve chosen for herself.

“I know marriages are big deal in the mortal world, and I would love the opportunity to give you your special day surrounded by all our friends and family. As soon as I feel like sharing you again of course.” He flashed her a cocky grin.

“I’d be honored, Az.” She kissed him greedily.

“And I’d love for you to meet my mother. She still lives in Illyria, and I’ve told her all about you — The woman who’s utterly stolen my heart.” He gave her a peck. “I want to show you off to the world, light of my life.”

“I can’t wait.” And she really meant it. This male, her mate, was the best thing that had ever happened to her. For him, it was all worth it, losing her old life, being thrown in the Cauldron, struggling to regain her sense of self. It had all led her here. 

She was shaken from her contemplation by Az chuckling. “It seems our cover has been blown, love.” She looked at him questioningly. “Rhys just contacted me, asking if you were okay. It seems a certain red-haired prick showed up on their doorstep worried about you. I _might_ have been a little territorial in my response, and I _might_ have quickly growled out my claim on you and shut the bastard out of my head. But I don’t think anyone will be bothering us here anytime soon.”

She frowned at the thought of Lucien. Honestly, he hadn’t crossed her mind in awhile. 

“None of that now. Even if there are tendrils of a bond between you still, you’re mated now. He won’t be bothering you again.” She felt a tinge of remorse for not even considering Lucien’s feelings in this arrangement or outright rejecting him before accepting Az, but as she was lying next to her true mate, it was hard to focus on anyone else.

Not as desire continued to stream through her. This. With him. She’d found her happy ending. Now she ached to give him his. _Again_. She pounced before he could sense her intentions, pinning him to the bed. Coyly, in a voice she’d never heard herself use before she crooned, “Now it’s my turn to claim you.”  



	9. Elain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Everyone was gathered for dinner at the townhouse. Nesta hadn’t made an appearance yet, but she’d avoided any group gatherings since the evening of the Solstice, so it wasn’t much of a surprise to Elain. They would have to stop by her apartment soon to give her the good news. **  
**

It was the first time in a week that Elain and Azriel had left the House of Wind. They were finally able to pull themselves away from each other long enough to excitedly announce their mating and engagement. With her ring hidden in the pocket of her skirt, they made their way into the dining room of the townhouse, hand-in-hand.

Feyre beamed as she laid eyes on her sister, coming to crush her in a giant embrace. “Congratulations, you two!” Elain hugged her back.

“Thank you,” Az replied.

Rhys clapped him on the back. “Welcome to the family, brother.” He winked. “Now that it’s official.”

“We’re sorry we didn’t tell anyone,” Elain said sheepishly. “It just seemed like such a tenuous thing when we first starting seeing each other that I didn’t want it to be strange for everyone if it didn’t work out.”

They all sat down, and Nuala and Cerridwen began piling dishes on the table.

Cassian barked a laugh. “As if I didn’t notice him coming into our bedroom, still completely aroused on Solstice.” Az tensed beside her, his teeth flashing briefly. She couldn’t tell if it was purely from distress at being found out or if it had to do with the fact that Cassian was staring at her. Az had told her it would likely be difficult to keep his more primal instincts in tact around the other males tonight.

Cassian quickly gauged his reaction and deflected, turning towards Az. “Even as distracted as I was that night, it wasn’t difficult to tell that you were completely love-struck. Not to mention the fact that you’re distracted every time you come visit me in Illyria. I know you don’t love it there, but you weren’t even able to relax whenever I tried to get you to drink with me after long days of training,” Cassian chuckled.

“I’ve been…busy,” Az replied, face flushing. Elain gripped his hand reassuringly. She could tell he wanted to disappear into the shadows, that he was fairly embarrassed by all the attention being thrust at them.

“Obviously. You’ve reeked of her scent for months now. It’s been hard to sit through meetings with you, pretending not to gag,” Amren cut in, picking at her nails.

“And you’ve seemed so happy lately,” Mor added, thrusting an open bottle of wine at Az. He took a quick swig. “More than once, I’ve just seen you staring off into the distance with a goofy smile on your face when you were bored during a meeting. It wasn’t too hard to piece together.” Elain could swear something like relief passed over Mor’s face.

“And you didn’t tell me?!” Feyre exclaimed, glaring at her best friend. “ _You all knew they were seeing each other but just decided not to share this particularly juicy piece of gossip?_ ”

“Relax, Feyre darling. I’m sure they meant no harm,” Rhys playfully placed a kiss into her hair. “To be quite honest, I hadn’t realized it either.” He ran a hand through his own hair. “I guess we’ve just been so insanely busy lately that it’s no wonder we didn’t recognize the signs.”

Amren snorted.

“You two did make it quite easy for us to meet at either of the houses,” Elain blushed. “You were never around, and when you were, well… _you know._ ”

“Elain!” Feyre gasped.

“Ha! As if _that’s_ a secret, my friend.” Mor took a large gulp from another bottle that’d appeared in her hand. “Everyone knows you two _still_ can’t keep your hands off of each other. In public or otherwise.” She threw an arm around a beet-red Feyre’s shoulder, grinning from ear to ear.

“Speaking of which, how’s _that_ going, Elain?” Feyre bit out, obviously rather flustered by the turn of conversation. 

Warmth pooled in her core. _Shit_. She’d tried so hard to prepare herself for tonight. They just had to make it through dinner without an _incident_ , but admittedly, it was still hard for both of them to go too long without touching each other.

Down the bond, Az began trying to soothingly caress her, distract her from her impulses, though she could tell it was as much for his own sake as hers.

“Excellently, my Lady,” Az answered for her, winking at her sister. “Perhaps you’d like me to write up an official report?”

Mor and Cassian started howling, and soon the whole room had exploded into laughter.

* * *

Dinner continued more or less without issue. Elain constantly had to fight the urge to drag him into her bedroom for some much-needed relief, but being together, around their family was a blessing. She’d missed being able to be herself around them through these past few months of subterfuge. Being able to reach over and grab Az’s hand or the thrill of having her sneak her kisses in front of everyone felt amazing.

She’d also been partaking in the wine tonight, finally enjoying her sense of freedom and letting loose a bit.

As the dessert course was coming out, and everyone seemed to be stuffed and relaxed, Feyre finally asked, “So what’s next for you two?”

Elain and Az shared a quick look as she slipped her ring onto her finger underneath the table and brought it out for everyone to see. As she showed it off, Elain grinned. “We’re planning on getting married as well.”

“I wanted to give my wonderful mate the wedding she’s been dreaming of all her life,” Az added.

“So we’ll definitely be busy with planning that for the next few months. I think we’d love to have it sometime in the summer, when it’ll be warm and sunny, and all the flowers will be blooming. Maybe we could have it in the garden of the new estate?” Elain suggested.

Feyre looked thrilled. “We’d love to host it there!”

“Thank you so much,” Elain grinned. “I’d also love it if you stood by my side on that day. And of course Nesta too, if she’s willing.”

“I’d be honored,” Feyre replied, clearly flattered that Elain would consider including her in their ceremony.

“And you two as well.” Azriel gestured to his brothers. “I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather have by side on that day than my brothers.”

“Of course, Az,” Rhys responded.

“As long as I get to plan a day of debauchery to celebrate your last day as an unwed male. Regardless of the fact that you’re already mated to each other,” Cassian laughed. “I’d love nothing more.”  


“As for other changes in our lives, of course we’ll still stay with you all at the townhouse and estate sometimes, but we’ll probably start looking for our own house in the city soon. As much as we appreciate you two always being inviting to us, we’d like to have a place to call our own,” Elain addressed Rhys and Feyre.

“You know you’re always welcome here, but I’m so happy for you two,” Feyre responded. “Truly. I do have one hard question though. Are you ever going to tell Lucien in person?”

Az went still, obviously trying not to snarl at the thought of the other male. His shadows flaring around him gave him away though. Difficult. This was still such a tense topic between them. Even after a week of officially having her all to himself. 

Elain swallowed dryly. “Perhaps one day I’ll explain this to him, but I’m not sure now is the right time. I’m not sure I’m ready to face him in person, that we’d be able to have a productive conversation. We hardly even know each other. Maybe we can sit down and discuss it when this isn’t so _new_ , but I’d rather focus on the happiness I’ve got in my life right now.”

Feyre nodded understandingly. “I definitely think you should someday, but I have a feeling it’ll be easier than you think.”

* * *

Elain and Az spent the next few hours drinking with their friends and cuddling on the couch in the townhouse living room. It was so freeing and new to finally be able to acknowledge each other in front of the others. He even managed to sneak her some special attention under the throw blanket, and it was exhilarating trying to keep a straight face and engage with the others as he slowly rubbed at her clit, taunting her, and promising her mentally that this was just a teaser for what he would do to her later tonight in private.

She was going to combust. He slipped just one finger inside her lazily as he felt her control slipping. Just enough to keep her on edge, but small enough and moving slowly enough to bring her back down to earth.

Eventually, Elain shot Az a conspiratorial look and let out a huge yawn. He immediately scooped her in his arms, and said to their family and friends, “It appears milady is exhausted. I guess it’s about time we get going home.”

Before she could hear more than a handful of goodnights from their drunken and sleepy friends, he bolted to the door and shot them into the sky. As soon as they’d taken off, her mouth met his, and a spark of electricity shot through her. Her hands started exploring, and she admired the fact that he was able to keep them aloft as one found its way discreetly inside his waistband, letting all of Velaris witness how much she desired her mate. It was only fair to repay him for his advances earlier this evening.

As they landed in the House of Wind and made their way to their bedroom, Elain thought about how truly blessed she was to be spending the rest of her life with him and how grateful she was that they now could share that with their family.


	10. Epilogue - Lucien

Lucien was on his way back from the Spring Court, where he had drafted an alliance between Tamlin and the Band of Exiles, when he felt the crack.

The mating bond split in two. Oh no. _No, no, no._ Things with Elain hadn’t ever been great, hadn’t ever taken off, but he couldn’t process the thought of her _dying_ without there being any resolution, at least a polite discussion of their situation, between them.

Frantically, he began winnowing to the Night Court. It took him longer than he was willing to admit, having to slowly cover the distance in spurts throughout the better part of the evening, all-the-while reaching out for the severed bond between them, desperate to feel anything on the other side. _Nothing_.

He barreled up to the door of the townhouse, barely remembering that he had to knock now. He didn’t live here anymore.

Feyre answered after his second attempt to practically beat the door down. She looked way too casual, relaxed, in a bathrobe. He could see Rhys lounging on the couch in the sitting room, as if Lucien had interrupted some private moment, looking puzzled to see Lucien after all these months without contact. _How could they be calm at a time like this?_ Surely they had to know what had happened to her.

“ _Where is she?_ ” he growled. “ _What happened to her?_ ”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Feyre looked dumbfounded.

“Elain. The mating bond. It’s gone,” he choked out.

“I saw her only this morning going into the city to buy gardening supplies with Azriel. She’s started landscaping for our new estate and had a large order being delivered there today. Surely, we would’ve heard if something went awry, but she shouldn’t have even left Velaris.” Feyre threw a concerned look at her mate.

Rhys sat utterly still for a moment before slowly saying, “I just contacted Az, and I think there’s something you need to know, Lucien. Sit down.”

Lucien hesitated in the doorway before coming further into the room and taking a seat on the couch. He knew Rhys would likely hold out on him until he followed orders anyway. It wasn’t worth getting into an argument today.

“It seems that Elain was blessed with two potential mates,” Rhys said quietly. “I’ll be quite frank and say that they’ve done a remarkable job of hiding their feelings from even us until now, but it seems that Elain and Azriel have accepted their mating bond. Together. _Today_.” He stared cautiously at Lucien as he continued. “Your lack of feeling a bond now may indicate that it has simply vanished, that only one such relationship could survive once she’d made her decision.”

Lucien had his head in his hands now, staring at the floor. She was alive. His mate, or former mate, he mused, feeling as though he was going to be sick.

“I need to talk to her.”

“I would…advise otherwise, Lucien. At least for now,” Rhys drawled. “Give them some space. As a recently mated male myself, I think I can let you know that it would be quite…unwise of you to interrupt them.”

Lucien’s face flushed. Shit. In his desperation, he hadn’t even considered _that_.

“I need to clear my head,” he murmured before quickly winnowing to his apartment in Velaris. It was the only place he could truly be alone. If he made it all the way back to the Exiles’ estate in the human lands, he’d have Jurian and Vassa to contend with.

 _Vassa_. In these months of working with her to enforce change in the human lands, he had definitely started developing feelings for her. He’d always shoved them deep into the recesses though. Because of Elain. Because of what might’ve been. Vassa burned brighter than any female he’d ever known, save perhaps Jesminda.

Lucien lay numbly on his bed and wept.

He remained that way for the better part of a few days, barely mustering the strength to feed himself on occasion.

* * *

Feyre dropped by toward the end of the week, bottle of expensive wine in hand. “I figured you could use a friend,” she managed, awkwardly. Honestly, he was relieved to see her, to get a reprieve from the thoughts eddying in his head.

They sat together on the couch, draining their glasses for a long time before he whispered, “I just wish I’d had a chance.”

“I know.” A pause.

“Why did the Cauldron pair us together? What did it see between us that never got a chance to blossom?”

“I can’t answer that, Lucien. I don’t think anyone can.”

“I was never truly in love with her — I barely got to know her. I’m not sure why this hurts so much.”

“I think the breaking of any bond, no matter how big or how small affects us. You weren’t even mated to Jesminda, and it ate at you for centuries. The King of Hybern broke my bargain with Rhys. That was just a cobweb compared to our mating bond, and I couldn’t even stay conscious through it.”

“I think there’s someone else I need to be honest with.”

A small smile began creeping onto Feyre’s face. “Who, Lucien? Don’t tell me there’s someone else in your life now,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

For the first time in years, he felt himself truly smile. “There is, and I’ve been putting off telling her how I felt for long enough.” He turned to leave, but Feyre caught his wrist.

“Be happy, Lucien,” she grinned. “And don’t forget about your lowly little friends here. We’ve missed you.” Feyre let go of Lucien, and strolled out of the room, winking at him as she left.

He gathered all the strength he could muster and began winnowing.

* * *

He arrived at the estate late in the evening and prowled inside. Home. This was home. The first one he’d had in awhile, if he were being honest with himself. For the first time in years, he felt free, felt a shred of happiness. He stalked through the manor until he found Vassa, casually eating supper in the dining room. She looked up startled by his sudden appearance. He grinned at her, broad and without restraint, whisked her into his arms, and drawled, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are the property of Sarah J. Maas


End file.
